“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
Sometimes I allow a good/bad run to define who I am as a runner.
I mentally beat myself up over missed runs. Going over and over in my head what I should of or could have done.
Example, I had a run planned for early Mon morning. J worked nights and I would head out at 5am when he got home from work....unfortunately, MP was up all night long throwing up. I nixed my run and settled in for 30 extra mins of sleep. Could I have run? Absolutely.
Another early morning run planned this morning....this time LP up all night throwing up. Who knows why it always happens in the middle of the night! Another run missed. This time I didn't settle in for extra sleep. Instead, I lay there thinking about the run I could be doing. The mileage I could be adding toward my goal. Condemning myself for my "lack" of motivation and thinking about my upcoming race and telling myself how horrible I would do because of my missed run. I could have run but I didn't.
I know we have all had similar things happen and I'm sure as a running mother we have all had those times of self-condemnation.
Why are we so hard on ourselves? I tell the runners in the No Boundaries C25k program I coach, to be flexible, to not be so hard on themselves if they miss a run but to get it in when they can. Just last week I told a friend who is training for a marathon that she should allow herself to be flexible with her training schedule because life will get in the way sometimes....being a full-time working mother of 3 kids = a chaotic schedule, throw in training for a marathon and it is over the top!
In the middle of my self bullying session, the Lord brought this verse to mind: "therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1
It snapped me out of my little pity party and reminded me of who I am. But not just who I am as a mom, runner, wife...who I am in Christ. I am who God says I am.
Who am I in Christ?I am a joint-heir with Christ Romans 8: 17
I am the righteousness of God in Christ. 2 Cor.5: 21
I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor. 6: 19
I am the apple of His eye. Zec.2: 8
I am an ambassador for Christ. 2 Cor.5: 20
I am free from condemnation Romans 8: 1
I am more than a conqueror Romans 8: 17
I am the salt of the earth. Mathew 5: 13
I am the light of the world Mathew 5: 14 & Eph. 5: 8
I am a member of the household of faith Gal.6 :10
My passion and love for running was not put in me by accident. God put it there. It is in my make-up...part of who I am.
I won't be defined by anything else.
Hope your week is going well!
Grace and peace,